


Wake Up

by SavingPeopleSlayingThings



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Gen, Poor Buffy, Poor Spike, Spuffy, even though he does come back, im horrible with tags, why did spike have to die in this episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:12:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavingPeopleSlayingThings/pseuds/SavingPeopleSlayingThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy is on the bus after the battle at the high school with the scooby gang, but they're missing a few members. Including one peroxide-blonde member. Buffy's thoughts after seeing Spike die</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Up

Buffy races across the barren rooftops, jumping, leaping and diving, avoiding the abyss that is now swallowing her home behind her. She finally catches up to the speeding yellow bus, taking a brave leap onto it. Buffy ignores the searing pain that crawls up her leg and hangs on for her life.  Once they approach the SunnyDale boarder, the bus screeches to a stop. She rolls off the top of the bus, landing on the dusty ground. Not looking back at the crater that was once her home, Buffy climbs into the bus, working her way towards the back. Ignoring the relieved look of her friends and sister, she lies in the last unoccupied seat.

  
            Feeling a tear roll down her cheek, she wipes it away and avoids thinking. She can hear the whispers coming from the front of the bus that began as they started driving again, but she choses to ignore them. Dawn, Willow, Xander and Giles all seem to be worried.

 

“Now what?” She faintly hears Xander ask. She can almost picture the sad smile on his face.

“I-I don’t know. Where do we go?” Willow pitches in.

“Well, it seems the most reasonable way to go would be to L.A. Angel does need to be told how it went, and that we won’t need his backup.” Giles sounds as smart and British as always, not fazed by the apocalypse they just faced.

“I’m not so sure we should go and see fang-face now.” Xander says, looking back at Buffy, who still hasn’t moved from her spot.

“It’s the only place we can go.” Giles counteracts, stubbornly.

“Hey, I’m fine as long as there are beds and food.” Faith decided to leave Robin and join in on the conversation.

“Okayy, as long as I’m the only one against it.”

 

            Buffy can hear Dawn approaching, and quickly wipes away any tears that may have snuck on her face.  
“Hey Dawnie.”

“Hey Buff.” Dawn replies silently, risking a worried glance at her sister.

Buffy catches it. “I’m fine Dawn. How about you?”

“I’m… I’m okay. Hey, I’m alive, that’s good, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” Buffy smiles sadly. Dawn takes this as the end of their conversation and walks back to the front, leaving her sister alone with her thoughts.

 

_“No you don’t, but thanks for sayin’ it.”_

_  
  
Idiot!_ She called herself _._

_Why did you have to wait until the end of the world to realize how you feel? Why wait until he was sure to not believe you? Not only is he now gone, but also he never even knew how you truly felt. God! Why are you such an idiot?!_

Buffy could go on for hours, insulting herself and feeling guilty but she knew that soon, the not-so-potential-slayers and the Scooby Gang needed something to cheer them up. They needed her to be strong again. She wiped her still-falling tears and walked up to Giles and Xander in the front row.

 _Damn! How could I forget! I’m not the only one mourning here!_ She thinks as she sees Xander’s tear-filled eyes.

“Hey.” Buffy whispers.

“Hey Buff.” Xander nods towards her, not looking her in the eyes.

“Xander… gosh… I’m so sorry Xan… I-” Buffy trails off, not knowing what to say or how to continue. Xander appears to understand.

“Hey, we all knew people were going to die, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Buffy turns to leave but is stopped by Xander’s grasp on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry too. I’m guessing he didn’t make it either.” He bows his head, not quite used to feeling remorse for the undead.

“Yeah, he didn’t.” Buffy successfully walks away, not wanting her friend to see the tears leaving trails down her face.

 

She couldn’t think of _him._ No. She wouldn’t. Spi- No. No thoughts of him. No thoughts at all if possible. No crying. No mourning. Nothing. Nada. Zippo. Zilch.

Buffy couldn’t help but see him in his last moments when she closed her eyes. This caused her to try to keep her eyes wide open, but of course he still managed to creep into her thoughts. No matter how hard she tried, Spike always came to her mind. She missed him. _No, that doesn’t cover the pain._ She thought. _Why can’t he just be here? Why can’t he just make some sarcastic remark and look at her with his icy blue eyes that always manage to melt her heart? Why?_

Buffy thought that maybe, just maybe, if she didn’t think of him, she wouldn’t feel this pain, but he always kept appearing. Soon though, the pain became numb, just in time for the bus to stop in front of the Wolfram and Hart building.

 _Time to stop the self-pity._ Buffy says to herself. _These girls are slayers now. They need me. There’s no time for mourning. Time to wake up and lead._  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this is a little OOC, and short, but I made this a couple years ago and decided to just post it, instead of leaving it alone to disappear in my computer forever


End file.
